Elena dreams of me!

How exciting. Another photo (possibly fittest one yet but still not quite doing it for me, love). Latest round of correspondance comes below!

Hello my honey Michael!!!!!!! Today i have a very good mood. How are you? Today i got up with thoughts about you. I saw you in my dream. You were in my dream for the first time. Thank you very much for the last letter. In the morning i prepared a salad made of fruits. It is my breakfast. During my breakfast i thought about you. What do you like more for brakfast? May be i will be able to cook breakfast for you in the future? I am thinking about you all day long today. I have got a letter from my girlfriend. She is happy that i found a good man in the internet. I told her some things about you and she thinks that you are a good man. She said that it will be cool if in the future we will be together. She helped me to make visa. She promised to help me to arrive to the UK. Now i will ask her for help to come to you. My friend will pay for me trip. She promised that she will send money for my trip and for life for the first time. I will not have any financial problems. I am very happy that i have such a good friend. Michael I can not understand what is going on with me. I have never thought that it is possible to find a good man in the internet. And i found you. What is it? What will be the next? I am so happy. All my friends ask my why i look so good, why smile so much. Thank you. Michael It is thank to you. It is you who makes me happy. It is magic that i met you in the internet. You are a very good man. I like to communicate with you. Your letters are so open to me. They help me to feel happy. You know i print you letters and keep with me. I read them again and again. I am always so happy to get your letters. I want to tell you about my town.It is very beautiful city, second after Moscow. There ara many parks here. I like the style of my town it has a lot of great buildings. It is great to walk here when the weather is fine. And to walk in the evening when it is calm. Do you like to walk on the street? What are you doing today? Work,rest, walk ? I want to know how is you day. Today before going to bed i will think about you. I hope to see you again in my dream. I wish you a calm day and i hope you will see me too in your dream. May be we will see the same dream. I dream to see you in real life.

i kiss you
Yours Elena



To my sweetest snugglebunny Elena,

I am so pleased that you dream of me! I dream of you also! In my dream, we were walking along top of cliff near my house holding hands and whispering sweet nothings to each other in the sunshine. It was very romantic. Then you turn into giant eagle with head of a weasel and fly off into the sun, and my dead granddad turned up eating a mint feast and talking about going for a pint with Mick Jagger. Then his arms dropped off and he turned into a robot. That bit of dream weird. Must stop drinking gin before bed. Anyway, bit with you in was good. I hope tonight I will dream of sexytimes with you, this make me very happy and wake up with bed in shape of tent.

For breakfast, I like a light snack of bacon, fried eggs, scrambled eggs, sausage, fried bread, black pudding, muchrooms, toast, fried tomatoes, chips and beans. Sadly this make me fat, so I don’t have the beans any more. Also means less smell on bus. I would like very much for you to be cooking me breakfast one day. How do you like your eggs? Unfertilised I hope.

I have many pleasings that your friends and family think I am a good man. Have any of them actually read my emails?

I feel so lucky to meet you in internet. Many horror stories about people who make scam on internet and fool people and man think he is talking to lovely girl from russia or thailand but really it bearded trucker from Wisconsin who only want sort code details so he can steal your monies. I am so lucky to meet real lovely Elena like you with photographs for to prove reality. And such sexy photographs too, you are having the beauty of my favourite English supermodel. Her name anne widdicombe and she have many great beauties and big jubblies as well. Do you have any in lingerie? Or any form of rubber-based uniform? With or without animals and other women, I'm not fussed.

Your city sounds wonderful, I would like to visit. I too enjoy streetwalking and I am sure that if I visited your most prestigious city, I would be making many lovings to the walkers of the street. I would love to visit your beautiful city one day, and see where it is that you live. Perhaps see where you work, where you go school, especially see where you learn english. I will try and earn full refund upon your behalfings.

Today I am doing the workings in the office. It is hard for me to concentrate because I have your picturings on my desk and I like to think of my love for you, but there is total babe sittings near to me and I confuse my thinkings sometimes between her and you and it make me feel wibbly.

Please, my dear, call me Mikey Wikey Woo Woos in your emailings! Only my mummy call me Michael and it make me feel strange.

My sweetest dearest Elena I cannot wait to hold you in my arms, feeling you through the fabric of your undies and trying to control my stiffy. I hope that today is another calm day for you and that my ejaculation has once again filled you with warmth.

Kind regards,

Mikey Wikey Woo woos

Russian bride: still not twigged

Excellent news, had a new picture and everything. It would seem that the fact I appear to have beaten an ex girlfriend to death, had sex with a dog and spend last weekend in a gay gang bang are still not enough to distract the beautiful elena.

Here's her latest (longest yet!) email and my response. Thanks for sticking with me on this exciting journey.

Hello my Michael!!!! Iam very happy to get your mail. how are you today? How is your mood? Today i have a good mood. I like very much to get your letters. With each letter we will become closer to each other. I will learn you better. It is a great pleasure for me to talk to you. It seems to me that we know each other for a long time.Excuse me if i do not write you letters very offten. Mostly i write from the puplic library. Michael I do not like to go to the internet cafe. There are many peolpe there and very noisy. And here in the library is very calm and i pay less money here. Hey i see that you had nice
weekend)) Yes i like to go out and i like to dance. Il dance to calm music at the dicso. Here in Russia at the disco dj very seldom play slow music and i dance. I have told my mommy and daddy about you. Michael my mum said that she is happy that i met you in the internet and that we write letters to each other. Just like my girlfriend with here future husband. My mommy think that you are a good man. My father said that he will be happy to meet you in the future. My parents are happy that i have met you. I also write to my girlfrind that i met you in the internet. i also have my visa for the UK open. My girlfriend said that she will be happy to see me soon in the UK. She said that she will be happy if i met a good man. I can arrive to you at any time. I want to know more about you. I will tell you more about me. We can plan my future arrival. I am lonely. My hart is waiting for love. All women want love. All women want to be loved. Men also want to be loved. My girlfriend will pay for my trip. It is not difficult for them. My girlfriend is like my sister. I was married for 2 years. But later i devorced. My ex-man betrayed me. He had relations with another woman. iIcould not forgive him. Clear and true relations are important for me. Love must be for all life. I can not understand russian men. They walk, drink much vodka and love many women. They do not see in women beloved women. Michael I want to tell you what i like and what i dislike. I like open people. I hate lie. I do not believe that it is posible to built love on a lie. I am sure that only truth can support real relations. I don't like when it is nor clear at home. I like to come after work to my clear home. It is the best rest for me. Aslo i don't like laisy people. I always can find task for myself. I like to clean and to cook. It is very nice to make home causy. I like to meet guests. I like when my friends come to me and we have good time together. They say in russia "When all is good in you home when all is good in your soul".Michael I think that soul of a person is very important. I like when i feel comfortable inside myself. I like to read beforo going to sleep. I like to read love stories. It is so romantic. I like to fall in the message of the book. It helps to forget about other problems in casual life. It helps to dream about love forever. Sometimes i cry or laugh with the main heros of the book. Tell me what do you usually do at your free time? Do you like to go to the cinema? What is your favourite film? I like dramas and advantages. Films about love and life. my favourite film is "Pretty Woman" with julia roberts and richard Geer. I hope you learn more about me. We will become more close to each other. I will wait for your letter. Michael I will try to write you letter tomorrow.

Michael I wish you good day.

I kiss you, yours Elena


Warmest and most heartfelt greetings Elena!

The Russian army of love is marching on my heart, my defences are down, I have already eaten the livestock, pestilence runs rife in the city, food supplies are low, and it is only a matter of time before I surrender to the love army!

I am likings the writings and the comings togetherings of our closenesses. Your picture on the pool table is very nice - do you like playing with balls? I enjoy many games with balls. I like many old English games, I have great belief in old tradition. I mainly play a game called Fookmiass. It is an ancient English tradition that dates back to the 12th century, and is a mixture of skiing, bear-baiting, tractor racing and poker.

I am very pleased that your parents are happy that we find each other in the internet. I have not told my parents yet as it is difficult to get letters to them in maximum security and visiting is difficulty for me. They had some problems so are in special safe place for now for protection of publics. And childrens. But they are full of lovings on frequent basis and I will tell them soon about our meetings on the internet. It not same through plastic grille though.

I am unbelievings of your foolish husband! It is clear from pictures that you are prettiest woman in all of St Petersburg - he is a crazy man in the head if he discharge his single-barrel pump-action yoghurt gun into face of another woman! You have much prettiness in the face and also of the body and if you like to clean and cook as well then I do not see problem of ex husband. Also if you are likng the lovings in the bedroom like a good wife, then this make you perfect. Certainly if I had lady like you, my purple headed muck-chucker would be only for you and I no need special relations with other women. Unless you like this kind of thing if you are present, but that not major issue for now we discuss this later when less sober.

I like very much this eloquent Russian saying of which you speak and am agreeing vigorously with this. I also think it important that we both feel very comfortable inside yourself.

In my spare time, when I not play fookmiass, I like many things. I like to go to the cinema and enjoy many films. Pretty Woman is good film, I like many films about streetwalkers. I like period dramas, like Porky's and Top Gun.

My favourite film is probably Full Metal Jacket. In this riveting look at military life during the Vietnam conflict, Stanley Kubrick, who made the powerful antiwar classics PATHS OF GLORY (WWI) and DR. STRANGELOVE (the Cold War), once again explores the behavior of men in battle. FULL METAL JACKET (1987), adapted from Gustav Hasford's novel THE SHORT TIMERS, is broken down into two very different parts. The first half of the film focuses on the training of a squad of Marine grunts on Parris Island, and more specifically on the troubled relationship between the brutal drill sergeant (a frightening Lee Ermey) and an oafish misfit (a brilliant Vincent D'Onofrio) who just happens to be a sharpshooter. The second half takes the grunts to Hue City, where the climactic battle of the 1968 Tet Offensive--and the turning point of the Vietnam War--took place.

Also I like Finding Nemo.

Elena, I am liking very much your correspondings and await your next missive with bated breath. I think you are very beautiful and would love to see more of you. Mainly thigh but I'll take what I can get at this stage.

Also, Elena, please may you now call me by my nickname? In england, Michael is very formal even though it my official name, my friends all call me Mikey Wikey and this I like to be called - may you please call me by this in future emailings? I want to feel closer to you because I wish to penetrate your initmate circle and become a friend and perhaps even more.

Once again, I hope you enjoyed my ejaculation - I know I did!

Mikey Wikey

XXX

Russian bride responds again!

I can;t fecking believe she didn;t get the last one as being a pisstake, but she has written back. Her old email address is no longer working (wonder why...) and now I am writing to a different one. I've deliberately played down my latest response a little cos I want to see how many emails in I get asked for my account code details. And whether I can talk her into any nudie photographs, which is the main thing I'm sure you'll agree.

Anyway, latest correspondance below. Peace out.

Hello Michael!!!!!! I am so sorry that i didnt write you for some time. I had problems with my e-mail. It doesnt work anymore. Please write me you letters to my new e-mail XXXXXXXX I have only just got your letter. Please resebd me letters that you wrote me. Now i have not much time to write you. promise to answer as soon as i get your letter.

Yours Elena


Bountiful greetings Elena!

I am having the delightings with your respondings to my emailings! I had the fear that you had already found the man of your dreams elsewhere on the internet, perhaps ebay - or mebbes even at home in russian motherland.

I do not have a copy of my old letter, as I forgot to take a photocopy of the screen before sending it. However, I am sure we can pick up where we left off as the depth of our feelings may continue to grow with each passing day.

Did you have a good weekend? I went clubbing with my homies, hung out with some bad-assed bitches, did some dark shit with some evil mofos - best ask no questions, keep it on the low though yeah baby? Danced like nobody was watching - I'm serious as cancer when I say that rhythm is a dancer. I chilled on Thursday.

Do you go out much? Where do you dance to the calm music? I went to a very strange place on Saturday night, everyone was wearing leather and there was live felching on the main stage. The atmosphere was very good though, everyone was really gay and smiling. I felt a little foolish at first as I did not have a moustache like most of the others but they warmed to me very quickly and made me feel at home. Some nice men even bought me drinks all night, but I must have had too many as I woke up face down on a poof in a strange house with some loss of memory and a lot of stiffness. Still, I'm seeing them again next week.

Are you still looking for husband then? Any luck? I am pleasing if you are still looking, for I am feeling bondage between us could be an option.

I look forward to hearing back from you soon, and hope you are pleased with this latest ejaculation

Many hugs and happy kisses,

Your friend,

Michael

xxx

russian bride search: update

She wrote back! It could be love! And with a picture! She is HOT. And in no way a bearded trucker called Petr after a qucik buck from a gullible foreigner.

Here's her email to me, and my response below it...

Hello Michael!!!!! How are you? Thank you very much for your letter. I am very happy to get you letter. I am very happy you ansered me. I am glat we start relations. I was very happy to see your letter in my computer. Now i have time to write you letter. I will be happy to met you one day. I am simple russian woman. I have no love man. I want only love and happyness. Michael I want have serious relations. I want me and my man be happy together. A man will love me and i will make him happy. The most happy in the world. I will be the best woman for him. Russian women respect their men. My mother bring me up like that too. I could also see how my mother loved and respected my father. And i can say for sure that my man will be the most happy in the world with me. I want me and my man built our love and happiness together. Probobly you area a man of my dream? I can arrive to the Great Britain at any time. I have a visa. And i have a contract with tour agency. I can take tickets at any time. My girlfriend helped me to make visa. oh, it was not easy. I had to collect different documents. And now eveything is ready so i can come to the Great Britain when i want. May be you can meet me? We will learn us better in letters. But i think that we sould not hurry. We have time to know us better, more interesting things of our lifes. And soon after that we will see that relations we will be able to have. My girlfriend can help me with money for my trip to the Great Britain. She can also give me good und well payed job if i want. Her husband has a business in Germany and England. I have an education as a bookkeeper. She told me that it is time for me to change my life. And you know i has thought of desire that i want to find a good man for me. May be it will come true. My friend has found her husband in internet . they are very happy together. My girlfriend lives in the suburb of LondonMichael I will write her that i met a man in the internet. I will write her that i am very happy that i met a good man. I want you to write more about you in every letter. Michael I want tell you about me. I want you to know me good.

-My birthday is 15 .09. 79(29 years)
-My hight is 165sm, my wigth is 51kg
-I live in Sankt-Petersburg. and where do you live?
-I have no children. and you?
-My favourite color is blue
-I like music mostly romantic music
-I like animals
-I likу to read books about love
-I like to go to the cinema
-I don't smoke and i don't drink
-i like to dance to the calm music
-I like to cook
-I like clearness
-I like sex with my beloves man( sex is very important for man and woman. I think that love and sex must be always together. iI am a shy woman. I didn't have many men. but i do all for my man. I am ready to give me all to my lover, all my tenter and care. I am reay for all just to see my man be happy with me.) -I just like to be happy I tell you more about myself. my work is 7 km long from my home. i go there by bus. I am a bookeeper in the design firm. I work from 8.30 till 14.30 o'clock or from 14.30 till 20.30 o'clock. My collective at work is mostly female. After my work i go home and have supper. I like and can cook well. I like to go to the gim. I like fitness. I go there 2 times a week. Sometimes i take my girlsfriends with me. I like to be in fit. It s a great pleasure for me to do sport. When i was a little girl i do figure gimnastics. Because of that i am in good form. I have slime body. I think that it helps me to have good health. What is your hobby? I like to cook supper in the evening. I do best of all Halo-halo. Then desert goes. Fruits with broken ice with sweets and milk. I can cook dishes of spain, mexico and russian kitchen. Michael may be you will be test my musterpieces. I like to cook for my man specialy. What kind of realtions are you looking for? What kind of woman? Michael I hope you have the same ames like me. There are many people in the internet. Many people here just for fun. They forget about love. I look for clear and true relations for all my life. Ihope you understand me. I want to know more about you. You are very very interesting man. I want to know about a man i look for. I want him to understand me. I want my love man helps me. Michael you know appearence is not so important. I want to have a defenter. Ineed protection. I am a woman. Sorry but i have to go now. I will wait for youк letter. Will you find time to write me? Every letter makes me happy. Michael I will be very happy.

I kiss you (just as a friend this time)))
Yours Elena




Salutations Elena!

I was so excited to find you in my computer that I sneezed! I was happy to get you letter too and am glad we have started relations, I miss the lady being in my life. There is the loneliness and the sadness and the washing up and the house gets messy and no-one ever replaces the toilet rolls in the bathroom.

I am pleased that you are simple woman. I tend to find this works best. Not too many questions that way.

I too love animals but this not always looked on favouritably by woman in England so I am pleased that you are the happy one with animal love in your heart. One of my old girlfriends kick me out of house for making too much love with the dog more than her!! I was very sad as she had many good qualites and was good lover and very loyal. I miss girlfriend also.

I am interested very in your job as bookkeeper. Where do you keep them? Does your job have computer to help or is it mainly hand jobs?

It is lovely old news that your friend can help you move to United Kingdom. Suburb of London not far from Bournemouth, if you visitate then we could meet up for tenpin bowling and chicken in a basket. I have a voucher! But no lady to whom to treat with it, so it would be nice if you can come. It expires July 2009 so not for some time! If not then no matter we could do other things, I like to do many things like go to train stations and other sites of archtectural interest (bus stops) and also I photograph many different styles of litter bin. Also streetwalking and running. Some time ago I was asked to run marathon race! I said no but was told it for disabled children, so I take part because I think I probably win. I not win. No-one in race disabled! Turned out it for charity! I was very tired but raise £13.65 for charity of broken children with the gammy leg and the dribblings.

I am pleased that russian lady show respect to husband - this good, and important for strong relations. One girlfriend I have in past show no respect. I show her so often how to do things that she run out of bits to bruise, but still no good. She sometimes not do what is right and good and would be good for us. Is not wrong or dirty, they do it in greece all time and I see on telly and still she no let me ride the pork train to chocolate town. She very bad girl and in end we no happy. She dead now. Sad.

You sound lovely though. Am sure no problem like this with you! Cooking sound fun, I am good cooking too. I like the Pot Noodle and chicken in animal shapes. Also Like lesbian food.

You ask many questions in your letter sop I answer now here

I am 5 foot 1 and I am 78 stonne. I not know europe speak for this, sorry. But I look normal and healthy!
I have birthday every year I like very much the blowing on my birthday. Also of the candles.
I am colour blind. My favourite colour is red. But it might be green. I not sure.
I have no children. In england sometimes you must prove this in court of law, even if baby is black!
I like many romantic music, like Prodigy, Korn and also the Deaf Leopards
I like books of love and also sometimes the sexings! I like book with big picture as tend to find gets me there quicker.
I like the cinema too. My favourite films is the big hollywood blockbuster with the muscly men and the big bangings.
I drink in moderation. I smoke only after sex - about 20 a day! Ha ha this old english joke by comedy legend bruce forsyth. I no smoke really. I like bruce forsyth. Is he in russia? I wish he was.
I like to dance too to the calm music. I also like Low-Fi, Dirty Funk, Deep Funk and Afro Beat. Also Enya.
I like to cook like I say before and also like cleanness I think important to avoid warts and smell.

I also like the sex with my belovedest lady. Think it important to submit to demands regular like. This may be as I am from north of country.I fear maybe I ruin for you normal man and would like very much for you to make me happy one day with your slime body. That sounds like fun. I am pleased you like a man who will be defender for you. Normally I in goal but for you I always be defender. Best at full-back or on right side of centre, but not too good in air at the headings so might need a bigger man to operate in there alongside me. Perhaps in John Terry mould.

Anyway I must go now due to crippling movements in the bowels. I kiss you too as a friend for now but if given the opportunity would linger on your lips just a moment longer than last time, an unspoken understanding transmitting between us as our eyes lock, the smell of your sweet breath so alive within me, the hint, the promise that this may prove the beginning of something beautiful, the beginning of so much more than a friendship. As our gazes part, we would both become aware of our hearts hammering ever harder in our chests, sensing, perhaps knowing, that one day they would beat as one.

And then I kiss other cheek.

I would like very much to hear from you once more - your picture was beautiful and have stuck it to my wall using god's own glue.

With love,

Michael

Emails that try to take advantage of the vulnerable. Or stupid.

I got a spam email today, that is clearly trying to lure me in to part with my account code details. It is from a Russian woman looking for love apparent.y My hairy fucking arsehole she is. I've written back though. Here's her email to me, and mine to her. Enjoy. Replies will be posted here; let's just see how much of this silly twunt's time I can waste...

Hi My friend!,
I saw yours account and e-mail on a site of acquaintances. I have remembered this site Dating. I have thought and made up my mind to write a letter to you. I am looking for a good man. Probably it is impossible, but I look for love in the Internet.
I ask you to understood me. I think that may be you and I can create big and fair relations. I wanna get acquainted with you closer. I wish to arrive to the United Kingdom soon.

Some words about me. I am a Russian woman. My motherland is Russia. My city is StPetersburg. I hope you do not think about Russian women badly. I know that many bad people create bad impression of Russian women. I want to say at once that I shall not ask you for money. I wish to find love only. And probably big happiness.
Why do I search for the man in your country? My best girlfriend lives in the United Kingdom. She has married English man. They are very happy together. Such happens!
My girlfriend advised me to search for the man in Great Britain United Kingdom. She is assured that I can find a good man. I agree. Everything is possible in our world! I am sure that I can find a good and fair man in the UK.

I can arrive to the UK at any time. As soon as I want. I have a visa and the sanction to entry to the UK. I can arrive to Great Britain at any time. My girlfriend will give me money for my trip in the UK. She will pay my trip and charges. We are friends for a very long time. We always helped each other. And my girlfriend wishes to help me to arrive to the UK. I can arrive to the man who will want to create love with me. May be it is you?
My girlfriend explained to me, that I should not worry about money. She can provide me with all. Also in the future she can give me good work with the big salary. If I wish to stay in United Kingdom. And if I find a good man.

I want true and serious relations. I do not understand and I do not want to play games. I shall be happy to learn you as better as it is possible and i am ready to start to create serious relations. We can try only for the beginning. We can try to create love and happiness. I think that there are no distances and barrier for love. Only people make miracles. May be me and you will create a miracle which will be called LOVE. Do you agree with me?
I shall be glad to arrive to UK and create big feelings with you. I trust in love and in good people. I think that you are a good person.

I will wait for your answer. I will tell you about myself as it is possible more in detail in the following letters. Write to me. Your letter will do me the happiest woman. I shall wait for your letter. Promise to answer.
I wrote you this letter from common e-mail in the Internet-cafe. Write me the answer to my personal e-mail.

It is my personal e-mail:
XXXXXX (removed so none of you buggers fucks it up for me - this is love, after all)

I wait for your answer. I hope that you understand me. I want the only thing. To be happy!!!

Yours friend Elena.


Dearest Elena,

Many thanks for your wonderful emailings of today. I do not know which dating site you saw me on, as I belong to many, but I have yet to find the person with whom I can undertake serious relations. some of the internet sites I have used have been very poor at finding people who want serious attitudes from their loved ones, and just want to do naughty instead of talking and enjoying the company of the other like you seem to want to do.

I too have looked for love in the internet, but google returns many matches and it is tough to know where to begin. Just so you know, the worst websites I found for love were www.fuckbuddies.com, www.ticklemytitsandcallmebrenda.co.uk and www.girlswholikealsationlove.net - they are full of bad people and a wonderful lady like you should avoid them. They are mainly full of adult doings that does not look like love to me.

What is St Petersberg like? I see that is where you live. I live in Bournemouth. It is a lovely English town that was invented in 1976 by accident, but it is lots of fun. There are pubs and nightclubs and even a bouncy castle in the summer. I like it here a lot, the only thing that saddens my heavy heart and makes me weary is that I cannot find the woman of my dreams here. Perhaps it could be you?

Where does your friend live? I hope it is nearby, because then perhaps we could meet each other when you have visitations to this island. Or can you only come when you have found your husband? Your girlfriend sounds very nice, if she will give you a good job and pay for your ticket and charges. What is going on there exactly, all above board I hope? I have had burnings of my fingers before in such matters of lady love.

I like very much your promisations of big feelings and I am glad that you think I am a good people. I hope this letter makes you do the happiest woman, as you requested, though I am not sure how good a thing this would be.

It would make me most happiest man in Bournemouth (apart from Gordon) if you will reply to this email for I too yearn for the right lady in my life. I have many needs for her - I wish to show her love, happiness and respect. Also some ironing that has built up of late. Perhaps you could send me a picture of you and some more talkings of yourself? I would be happy to send you phtographings of me as well if you would like this.

Yours friend,

Michael