Whichever hairdresser in Bournemouth keeps letting blokes have a mullet with blonde highlights

Who the fuck are you? And, more importantly, where the fuck are you, as I have a molotov cocktail with the name of your fucking shopfront on it.
What the bollocks is going on with the men of this shitty town? I was in Bliss last night (random night out, cheep beer) and went for a piss. In Bliss, the highly intelligent lay-out chaps have ensured you have to cross the dancefloor to make it to the bogs. This meant I came into close contact with a whole HEAP of chavvy cunts. At least, I think there was lots of them. It could have been one blokemoving around very quickly BECAUSE THEY ALL LOOKED THE SAME.
I couldn't give a fuck about what people do to their hair. I've never been a big one for bothering meself with my personal appearance, and others can do what they want - I'm not normally one to judge. But what kind of a sad world do we live in when everyone wants to look the fucking same? Especially when they all want to look like utter twats?
Last night in Bliss was wall-to-wall, inbred, bad-toothed, buck-ugly, spotty, mentally inept FUCKNUCKLES posturing and posing in front of women reeking of false tan. If you're going to have one of those haircuts that makes people look at you twice, then for god's sake you'd better not have a face that looks like your mother set you on fire and then beat it out with a shovel. No-one told these boys that.
Bunch of cunting retarded cunts that want to look like other retarded cunts. How are the women supposed to choose when you all look the same? Or do they fill in scorecards on the lustre and thickness of the mullet? My favourite new addition to the look is that weird sideparting type thing at the fringe, where it all sweeps over in one direction, making you look like EVEN MORE of a cunt. And it looks complicated to do, too - the only smell stronger than that of piss and Hai Karate on that dancefloor was the smell of hairspray.
So, cunty hairdressers of Bournemouth, next time someone asks for one of those haircuts, give them a nice sensible side parting, leave the hair dye where it is, and tell them to fuck the fuck off.