Ladies and gentlemen, meet Simon Platt

Right, I had another 'hurry up and pay me' email, which I responded to with the following - but then I took things in a much more entertaining direction...

My latest email - which features the same blurred scan of the western union form

Sorry man, been on holiday for a few days, which is why you didn't hear back from me. Though of course you probably know that, what with the 24 hour observation and all that.

Look, I don;t know what else I can do. The money is with Western Union - i have attached a scan of it AGAIN. If you can;t view it properly, let me know what the technical specifications of the machine you are using are - and try looking at it on more than one computer. The information is all there for you in black and white - it is not my fault that the equipment you are using is not good enough to view it.

I cannot raise any further funds at present, because I have none - and you should know all about that, seeing as you took the money from outside my house the other week - if you don;t have it, one of your mens is laughing at you and ripping you off.

PLEASE email me back and let me know that the western union scan has worked.

Mike

However, he's not playing with me enough. So I've introduced a new character to the game. Meet Simon Platt, who has just emailed our chump with the following introduction. I do hope they hit it off, I have grand plans for Simon.


You do not know me, my friend, but I know you. Or a little of you, at least. My name is Simon Platt (not my real name, but that is all you need to know right now).

Two weeks ago, I picked up a bag from outside a house in Southampton. Inside was £2,000 in cash and printouts of a series of emails between you and a Mike O'Sullivan. I am now in possession of this money, and have been watching O'Sullivan for some time to see if I can get more money out of him. However, it is clear from the emails that you have sent him and his responses that he is scared of you, and I believe that if we work together, he can make us both very rich. I know your scam, my friend - you have no mens here, you are trying to extort money from him over the internet. However, he is too stupid to figure this out. However, I can help you, seeing as you already hold a strong fear over him. I can be your mens here. I can pass on specific information about him - where he goes, what car he drives, I know where he went on holiday last week with his family, for example. By giving you real facts about the man, I think we can scare him into some more money. The £2,000 I have here is mine, I think. But any more money we can get from the man, I propose we split. I can either collect it for you, or he can transfer to you.

We can work this scam on others in the UK - it suits my needs for now, but in return for helping make you a rich man, I may need somewhere to stay when I leave the country, if things get too hot - someone in Africa with contacts to set me up out there if I need to leave town. What do you think? Does my business proposition interest you?

I hope it does, and as a gesture of goodwill, I will give you a little bit of information up front. He went to Portugal on holiday with his family - and his suitcases are a matching set, all red. Tell him you know this and it is guaranteed to scare him even further. Try it and let me know how you get on.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.